Recently, we have decided to leave the church we have been attending. It was a hard choice as the children really became acclamated to their Sunday School classes, the kids....but you need to move forward when you feel God is calling you elsewhere even when it is tough.
It is an overwhelming feeling to love the Lord so much and to want to please Him and worship Him but you walk into churches and get around the people who are all very nice (what are they going to do they want you to join their church) BUT you don't feel God's presence OR something just isn't sparking within you. That is where I am at.
We recently visited a non-denominational church (a healing ministry) which I was surprised my husband enjoyed as their worship style was more me than the old-school he is comfortable with. The pastor believes God has blessed him with the gift of prophesy and there is a women there who was speaking in tongue. I believe that this can all be true. Nothing is impossible through our Lord. As a matter of fact, i enjoyed what this church did do for me. It got me seeking the Lord more. Opening the Bible to other things besides daily devotions. I also felt blessed to be able to hear someone speak in tongue. But I kept wondering how do I know she did not practice this and is trying to dupe us.
But somewhere down inside me, I am at these services. Trying to worship Him and my mind is led astray out the window to His beauty outside.
Why can I not feel that overwhelming joy inside a church building anymore? Why is it that the only place I truly feel His presence is my one-on-one time with Him? Why is it that the only joy I feel or the only time I can break down to His majesty is listening to my worship music at home?
Has anyone every experienced this?
As I speak with the Lord, he reassures me to wait. He is showing me all this for a reason.
I know for sure that over the past year it has really come to my attention that no one or nothing is to be trusted to take care of me, except for God. He is the only one who truly knows me, cares about my feelings, and even though it is spiritual and not so much as a physical hug from a human being, He is the only one that can comfort me and He is the only one that I can talk to about anything.
I cannot receive that kind of affection from anyone. And that really makes me feel that people just stink. We are such a mean and selfish society with big mouths to boot.
Oh, Lord, how I long to come Home to you!
I remain forever yours,
Mary Ludolph
Not a believer or follower. Read more about Jesus. Allow His amazing gift to free you in your life today!
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