Life is so unfair, Lord!

Father, I am resentful once again towards him. I am annoyed by the laziness and lack of will. I am angered at his lack of respect to you. Here I am up at the crack of down striving for a godly home that you can be proud of, Father. It is not easy keeping with your Word all the time.  Getting up earlier than everyone else when I would rather be in bed.  Praying than reading your word when I my selfish desires may want to do something else.  Preparing myself for everyone in the household.  It is tiring.  Especially when I feel like I am alone in this world.



I have such desires burning inside of me, Father, to do good for you.  My purpose for you now primarily is inside this home.  Others have the opportunity and the means to work for you outside the home and they do not do it.  They will not or do not hear your calling to them.

But I am reminded by you, that I have a choice - freewill is what you have given to us.  It is my choice to do your will or to not do your will in order to further your kingdom.  As your apostle, Lord, you have given me freedom.  I am responsible for myself and answer to you about myself not others and their deeds or lack of deeds.

I say to you that it is so unfair and you answer that "It may seem unfair, Mary, but you are working towards something bigger and better.  You are not working for this world."  And I agree, Father.   I am working towards the goal of Heaven.

Does it make me happy to serve you?  Yes. Am I tired?  Yes.  Will I continue to serve you, Lord, despite my fatigue?  Yes.  You give me my minutes I need to unwind and relax.  Enough to energize me back into the race but not so much that I become worthless and unable to listen to your calling.

I may feel against the odds here, Lord, but I am willing to persist.  I love you and want to serve you.  Use me as your disciple.

Faithfully Yours, Mary