Where is someone?

Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none.  (Psalm69:20)

I seek comfort yet I find no one, Oh Lord.  No one who really seems to care the way that you do.  Why is it that even in my own household I feel like a stranger to these people whom I love - some of which I birthed.

I should be close to them, Father, yet it seems we are so distant.  Is this me distancing myself from them or do they haphazardly push me away?

I want to share my thoughts and feelings with the one whom you have given to me as my spouse, yet he seems so preoccupied with his own thoughts and concerns.  He is too preoccupied with what seems to me small potatoes compared to my emotional state.  But he is also the one that causes me the most pain.  Have I lost that much of my humor or is it that his humor is so inappropriate. 

I seem to take everything so personally anymore.  I feel that all that I do is ridiculed or corrected.  It begins to develop a lack of respect for myself and depletes my respect of those around me.

I want so much to love everyone as you have taught me to do but I find it so hard.  Help me to remember my love for these people.  Help me to remember the good times and steer away from the negative thoughts.

Teach me, Oh Lord, to love you above all, to love myself and to love my family despite our differences.  Teach me to smile and bring joy in the midst of our toils.  You know, Father, that it is difficult for me, who always smiles, to smile in the face of a trial.  Teach me, Father, show me your ways.

I want to be more like Jesus.  Self-controlled, gracious, happy, loving, forgiving, peaceful and to share those gifts with others.

Thank you, Lord!