I am there again, Father. I have such anger, hostility, astonishment, resentment towards this man. I do not like it one bit. I do not like feeling such bitterness towards the man that I love.
But when he speaks sometimes, I just have to wonder why is he saying what he is saying. Why does he not see how hypocritical he is? How can these words actually be flowing from his lips?
Then I stop to wonder if it is all just me. Am I the selfish one? Am I the one that does not get what is going on?
Why must everything that I desire be set to his timetable and not mine? Is this really what you want of me?
Help me, Father God, to not feel such frustration and anger towards him. Free me from these feelings of bitterness and depression so that I may hear you more clearly. Free my heart of these aches and pains which keep me from loving him.
I love you, Lord, and know that there is freedom in Christ. Free me, Father God, free me!
I love you! Faithfully yours, Mary
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