Thank you for your comfort, Lord!

I thank you, Lord, for comforting me with a tough decision.  Tomorrow, as you already know, I am going to have my tubal ligation done.  This was a stressful decision for me to make as I want to be in your will but my personal feelings keep getting in the way.

I do not see within your word where you would be directly against this but then again I am probably not allowing myself to see it.  I have prayed to you, Lord, regarding this situation, but again my own selfish desires may be blocking out what I do not want to hear.

I love my children, Lord, and cannot imagine not having them in my life. Each one is a precious gift from you.  You have certainly bestowed upon me fruitfulness.  Why?  I am not sure.  But I am truly honored as you have told me in your word that to be fruitful is truly a blessing a from you.

Forgive me, Father, if I am offending you with my actions.  I do not mean to turn away this blessing.  Forgive me, Father, if I am being disobedient to you or if you feel that I am lacking in faith.

I believe that you know what is best for me, Father God, and I know that you have never allowed us to be without what we needed.  You have always provided for us.  And you never give us more than we can handle.  Yet, I still feel so overwhelmed on a daily basis.  My emotional status as well as my physical status is draining. I do not feel that I am able to give 100% to my family with so many here to tend to, Father God.  How selfish when you are able to take care of so many of us each day, all day....please forgive me for my selfishness.

Thank you for allowing me to bring your beautiful children into this world.  I will continue to bring them up in your ways.

At the same time, I feel you comforting me through this trial.  As you know that I am only human and as much faith as I have in you, you also understand my anxiety and worries each time my husband and I lie together.  You understand my anxieties and worries about him not having a job....and our financial outlook.  Thank you for understanding me, Lord.  Thank you for forgiving me.  Thank you for giving me the most important job you could bestow upon me - taking care of your children.

This will be a sad day, Lord, but I also feel a new beginning....and my faith in you is so great that I know that if you really want and need for John and I to have more children nothing, even this procedure, could stop you from bestowing that blessing upon us once again.

I love you, Abba!  Thank you for your understanding, patience, and wisdom.

You are my confidant, my provider, and so much more...Thank you.