Toils and troubles

This summer has been quite a faith-trying summer. Waiting upon God in a lot of different situations and circumstances. Rediscovering parental responsibilities. Meeting new people. Strengthening our marriage.

Times are tough economically. You question as to why God would allow such poverty into our world and wonder why He would allow us personally to go through such trying financial burdens.

I personally have been awaiting some monies to be paid to me. And cannot understand why the Lord would allow it go on when He knows that I could use it. But these are the mysteries of our Lord. It also invites me to consider 1.) What have I not been doing for Him that He needs me to do. 2.) Have I strayed His path and gone my own way attempting to fix the situation on my own. 3.) And is it just greed. The answers through these self observations are usually 1.) Yes, I need to do more as a disciple of the Lord. 2.) Yes, I am trying to do things in my own strength. 3.) Yes, greed is present.

I am lucky to have all that I do while others suffer far worse than I. There are our martyrs who are giving their lives each and everyday in other countries and in our own proclaiming God's Word while I sit here in my home typing this and taking care of my family. So who am I to question God's plan for me? Who am I to say He is taking too long to answer my needs or wants? Who am I to complain about the amount of monies coming into my household? Who am I to gripe about a situation I have put myself in through not listening to Him fully and going my own way?

Parenting. People have looked me at a lot lately and asked "How do you do it?" How do you take care of so many children and still remain so sanely happy? Your children are so well behaved. Yet on the inside my husband and I always see room for improvement with them and ourselves. I am honored to be such a light to others and serve the Lord in this manner. My answer is that I cannot be an effective parent without God's help. It is hard. It is time-consuming. It is toilsome.

During the summers with the kids home is a very trying time. But it is also a great time of self-reflection as a parent. How can I better equip my children for the future? What do I need to do differently as a mother and wife to support my family and allow them to grow spiritually, emotionally?

I have been reading a great book by Dr. James Dobson, "The Strong-Willed Child." And yes, I indeed have one. My son is so loving and willing to do for others but yet has such a dark side of defiance and bullying towards others. A side not many others see yet as he only shows it at home towards his siblings at this time but I do see it cascading over into his friendships.

This book has been amazing in not only helping me strengthen the relationship with one of my strong-willed children but helping mold each and everyone of my children into a more responsible, respectable, God-fearing person.

"The Strong-Willed Child" has given me perspective on my parenting. On what I needed to improve and what disciplinary and praiseworthy manners I was using really were effective.

The majority would assume that since we have so many children we know what we are doing as parents. But it is not true. We struggle to raise our children and to discipline them. We need all the help we can get. That help comes from the Lord. He instructs us. His Word instructs us. I think too many times, myself included, we believe that our children may be too immature to hear God's Words and implement them into their lives. I have really tried to lay down scripture to them over the past few months after disciplining them or even praising them. Letting them know that God would disapprove and why or that God would be so happy with them and why. The children totally relate. And because they are God-fearing children they have a great need to please Him more than their need to please me. That is awesome!

We as parents fear our children hating us because of our discipline. That is why in my belief we have so many children today who have no respect for adults or themselves. Children today do not understand the concept of responsibility as parents are too willing to do for them.

It is odd I am probably one of the more strict parents of my children's friends, yet just when I think the kids would like me even less when they see the restrictions I have or the expectations I have they seem to respect me more. That is because proper discipline and praising comes from love. Not a need to control the child but a desire to see them mature and grow up into a responsible, loving, decision-making adult.

New people in my life. This has been a stressful year for that. Meeting new people can be painful for me. At times I do not know if it is God forewarning me about these people or just myself being overprotective of my own self esteem due to so much pain in my lifetime. It seems it can be a little of both. Never discount the gut intuition you receive upon first meeting someone even if you are the only one that seems to feel that way towards the person. I have been cautioned towards people this year. How hard it is to love someone that you know may scorn you. But how wonderful it is when that very person leads you to someone else who needs your love and wants to hear God's Truth.

God really does have a handle on all situations. And even if we cannot see the outcome or understand why He would allow such circumstances in our lives, we must be faithful that He knows what is best for us and we must be willing to sacrifice that which is closest to us for the good of His kingdom. How hard it is to give Him my marriage at times when it seems He will allow my husband to be lured into devastation. But guess what these are not my decisions to make. These situations that although will affect me and my family and are a trial for me are really not my trial per say. They are that of my husbands. His decisions. God allowing Him to be tempted. Satan just gets an added bonus of watching me get upset and questioning my own faith.

It is amazing what will happen when you give to the Lord the very situations that you question Him on. He brings you peace and comfort. Knowing that He only has your best interest at heart. And that no matter the outcome He will always be there for you to pick up the pieces and move you forward.

God is my fortress, my rock, my salvation. Without Him in my life, I would have never been able to survive these circumstances and situations in such a glorified manner. I will wait upon the Lord today and cannot wait to see what new circumstances and situations He brings to me as He prepares me today and tomorrow.

In God's Love, Mary