Whoa, is me oh, Lord!

Most people think that Christians have a holier than thou attitude and it may be true for some and maybe even for all of us at certain times.

I gladly accept that God wants me to come to Him and give my life to Him and accept Him and His Word in order to be saved from this wretched world.

A lot of people think we as Christians see things purple. That our life is perfect because of God. That He has made our life without toil or trouble. Somehow He waved the magic wand and made all our hardships disappear.

That is just not true. What God does do is make the bad times easier. What God does is use our bad times to mature us and perfect us into His image. And as Christians or followers of Christ as long as we accept this truth and have faith in it, we can easily persevere through the trials and tribulations that are a part of everyone's life.

No one is exempted from problems, loss of job, divorce, death....It is a part of life. But how you deal with it and use these circumstances is the difference between being a believer and non-believer.

So now for my confession and little dose of reality. I have been struggling tremendously over the past few years in my marriage. I do not know if my husband is quite aware of it or not for it is difficult to speak with him and converse about problems which is a huge part of the struggle.

It is not so much exactly what I am struggling with because I am in no way going to disrespect my husband here.

It is the ill thoughts I carry with me towards him that torture me.

I do not want to feel this way towards anyone.

Each and everyday I have to pray to soften my heart towards him as he disgruntles me so during the day.

The Lord comforts me each day and softens my heart but it is a continual process every minute of the day. The Lord reminds me that I am to sacrifice myself here in order to receive when I go "home" to Him.

How much am I to sacrifice? How much did Christ sacrifice?

How many times am I to forgive? How many times has Christ forgiven us?

The Lord also reminds me daily that we too, although we may see our sins or downfalls as casual compared to others, anger God and seek His forgiveness constantly, probably each day. So do we want Him to wish us away because of our indiscretions that drive Him absolutely bonkers and to tears? Do we want Him to cast us aside because we had a terrible upbringing and refuse to see the damage it has caused to our adult behavior?

No! Do unto others not only as you would like to have done to you by others but by God.

Amen! Praise the Lord.

Mary Ludolph

5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back. Isaiah 54:5-7